You guys. I am scared to write this post, which I envisioned writing in October. But it's been on my mind and last night I felt the Lord's prompting to WRITE IT NOW. I felt like a teenager because I verbally said. "Fine, but I can't right now (going to work), I will in the morning." So...here goes.
I'm pretty sure you know I am going through a divorce. And what better time than that to offer marriage advice? (I gotta keep this light - so pardon my humor).
The man I married wrote this in my engagement letter: "The best part about us is that as long as we are submitting to Jesus, the relationship won't be about us...it will be about him and how we can glorify him in serving each other."
Enter the guilt and the water works. Friends, somewhere along the way we stopped submitting to Jesus in our marriage. Somehow He became not the focus. As happens in a lot of marriages - things change. Sometimes our focus was each other, sometimes my health, sometimes our son, sometimes jobs, sometimes other people...but if I'm going to declare our marriage killer (and this is obviously my opinion) - it was that we lost sight of the wise words in that letter. How I'd like to go back in time and have those words framed - big and bold and on the wall, instead of kept in a safe place and only read randomly when I needed something from the safe!
If you are reading this and are married, I feel the need to ask you that question. In your marriage, are you submitting to Jesus Christ, first and foremost? If you are, keep that up! Even though it's hard and seems backwards in this crazy world which wants us to value so many things. Even though your spouse and your children and your job and your EVERYTHING seem to want to take that place of number one importance.
If you are not submitting to Jesus, would you reevaluate and make that change? I would bet even if you don't talk about it with your spouse, if you change your actions/words and follow what Jesus would do (and would want you to do), a difference will be noticed. A change will occur. Healing may take place.
When you submit to Jesus FIRST, you will be kind. You will love. You will put your spouse's needs above your own. ALWAYS. You will forgive. You will serve. You will raise your children wisely. You will seek the Lord. You will accept your Father's will in your lives - no matter what it costs you.
Friends, I am praying for your marriages. I am praying that your marriages are strong and blessed and that what holds you together is not simply the two components of man and wife, but that third component of God - who was there with you in that covenant of marriage you entered into. I am praying that when things get hard (And if they have never been - they will get hard, really hard) that you do not grow apart but closer together. I am praying for your strength, as an individual and as a couple. I am praying for your healing if there is some conflict or problem that seems insurmountable. I am praying that Jesus is the Rock of your marriage. I am praying that you submit to Jesus Christ.
If you, like me, have a marriage that ended, I'm praying for you too. That you would not feel like a failure. That you would see hope in whatever your future holds. That you would trust in the Lord with all your heart and know that the path you are on may not be what you planned - but your Heavenly Father knew you would walk it and He is right next to you. That you would take any guilt you feel, give it up to the Lord, repent, and leave it with Him. I pray that you don't live in the past, or in the future - but that you focus on today - full of that overflowing hope that is your promise! I am also praying that you, too, submit to Jesus Christ.
To close with that quote from above, friends, regardless of your situation, "Let's glorify God by serving each other!"
I'm pretty sure you know I am going through a divorce. And what better time than that to offer marriage advice? (I gotta keep this light - so pardon my humor).
The man I married wrote this in my engagement letter: "The best part about us is that as long as we are submitting to Jesus, the relationship won't be about us...it will be about him and how we can glorify him in serving each other."
Enter the guilt and the water works. Friends, somewhere along the way we stopped submitting to Jesus in our marriage. Somehow He became not the focus. As happens in a lot of marriages - things change. Sometimes our focus was each other, sometimes my health, sometimes our son, sometimes jobs, sometimes other people...but if I'm going to declare our marriage killer (and this is obviously my opinion) - it was that we lost sight of the wise words in that letter. How I'd like to go back in time and have those words framed - big and bold and on the wall, instead of kept in a safe place and only read randomly when I needed something from the safe!
If you are reading this and are married, I feel the need to ask you that question. In your marriage, are you submitting to Jesus Christ, first and foremost? If you are, keep that up! Even though it's hard and seems backwards in this crazy world which wants us to value so many things. Even though your spouse and your children and your job and your EVERYTHING seem to want to take that place of number one importance.
If you are not submitting to Jesus, would you reevaluate and make that change? I would bet even if you don't talk about it with your spouse, if you change your actions/words and follow what Jesus would do (and would want you to do), a difference will be noticed. A change will occur. Healing may take place.
When you submit to Jesus FIRST, you will be kind. You will love. You will put your spouse's needs above your own. ALWAYS. You will forgive. You will serve. You will raise your children wisely. You will seek the Lord. You will accept your Father's will in your lives - no matter what it costs you.
Friends, I am praying for your marriages. I am praying that your marriages are strong and blessed and that what holds you together is not simply the two components of man and wife, but that third component of God - who was there with you in that covenant of marriage you entered into. I am praying that when things get hard (And if they have never been - they will get hard, really hard) that you do not grow apart but closer together. I am praying for your strength, as an individual and as a couple. I am praying for your healing if there is some conflict or problem that seems insurmountable. I am praying that Jesus is the Rock of your marriage. I am praying that you submit to Jesus Christ.
If you, like me, have a marriage that ended, I'm praying for you too. That you would not feel like a failure. That you would see hope in whatever your future holds. That you would trust in the Lord with all your heart and know that the path you are on may not be what you planned - but your Heavenly Father knew you would walk it and He is right next to you. That you would take any guilt you feel, give it up to the Lord, repent, and leave it with Him. I pray that you don't live in the past, or in the future - but that you focus on today - full of that overflowing hope that is your promise! I am also praying that you, too, submit to Jesus Christ.
To close with that quote from above, friends, regardless of your situation, "Let's glorify God by serving each other!"
Wise and hard and necessary and beautiful and timeless and painful and painless and pure Betsy.
ReplyDeleteI don't know who you are, but this comment was beautiful and perfect. Thank you for your words!
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