Skip to main content

Heart Treasures

This Christmas season I've been doing a lot of reminiscing on Christmas' past. Specifically last Christmas. Last Christmas, I was praying for a miracle of epic proportions. I didn't get it. And my heart of hearts knew I wouldn't. I remember being at Christmas Eve service with my then husband and my son. Standing in the middle of the two of them, singing Silent Night, with those little candles that drip wax all over...I remember thinking, "This...this is my miracle." And I cried. Just as I am crying now. That was the last time I was surrounded by those two Nathan's, singing to the Lord. I still have the one...and let me tell you, I treasure that precious boy that God gifted to me like you wouldn't believe.

That moment was my miracle. And just like Mary, treasuring and pondering things in her heart, I've kept that memory in my heart and I don't foresee it going anywhere. And it doesn't have to. Because it was precious. And it was for Jesus. And those three voices, singing together, because of our Savior, meant something.

The grief that goes with that memory is real. And painful. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. I think that's the point I'm finally accepting: Painful can be beautiful. Grief is okay. Tears don't need to be stopped - each one is recorded in God's book and it feels pretty good to know the One who holds that container :). Memories can bring sadness; but they do not have to bring bitterness. Can you imagine how Mary treasured her memories of her Son as he grew and matured, and even as He died? There was grief there; probably always. But there was a gladness too. I'm guessing there was even peace.

It's hard to feel emotions that are seemingly at odds with each other. There is beauty in the Broken. There is joy in the pain. There is hope in the despair. There is rising in the sinking. There are crowns in the ashes. In life we cannot escape the negative; there will be those things I just mentioned. Brokenness. Pain. Despair. Sinking. Ashes. Those things are okay. Feel them. Don't push them away. But when it is  time, let them go. Find the beauty. Find the joy. Find the hope. Find your ability to rise. Find your crown. Your Father made one for you. Grieve for what is lost; but find love in the middle of it. Find what you need to treasure. Feel what you need to feel. It's all okay. Your heart treasures don't have to go anywhere, even as life moves on. My prayer for you is that those heart treasures would transition; if they need to, and you are ready, from the negative to the positive. And then that they would stay there.











Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I love you Lord (Psalm 100:2)

Scripture of the Day: Psalm 100:2  Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Starting last fall, my husband began singing the song "I Love you Lord," to our kiddo before he went to bed, as a lullaby of sorts. The lyrics are simple: I love you Lord, and I lift my voice to worship you, oh my soul rejoice! Take joy, my King, in what you hear, may it be a sweet, sweet, sound in your ear. It has since become a very popular song in our house! We sing it before nap time, bed time, and I hum it when sometimes when our little guy is upset or over tired. I love singing it slow and asking him to sing with me – at this point he knows most of the words and there is really nothing sweeter than hearing that little voice sing “I yuv you yord,”  (no “r’s” yet you see)! The song has also worked it's way into my personal worship of the Lord. The words are meant for Him to hear and I think he loves to hear them sung! I find that singing that j...
2 comments
Read more

What is Your Lie?

By now, you should know I like songs. I like Christian songs because their words don't put any "yuck" in my head and I don't have to worry about what little ears are taking in when they are on! Some touch me deep and here are the lyrics to part of a new favorite: Reckless Love by Cory Asbury There's no shadow you won't light up, Mountain you won't climb up Coming after me... There's no wall you won't kick down, Lie you won't tear down, Coming after me... Friends. Focus on that last point: There's no lie God won't tear down. What is your lie? What lie, or even lies, do you believe about yourself? What lies run over and over in your head until they don't feel like lies anymore? What hurts have you told yourself you deserve? What unkindness have you accepted as your due? What actions have you justified for others? What fault have you accepted that really isn't yours? What forgiveness have you felt unworthy of? I'm...
1 comment
Read more

From the mouth's of babes

I'm writing this more for prosperity's sake and because I need to try and wrap my head around a conversation I just had with my seven year old. Mandisa's song "Bleed the Same" was playing in the car...my kiddo asks me what she is actually saying because he hears "We all be the same." I explained how it meant that regardless of skin color, or lots of other things really, we all bleed the same. On the inside, we are all the same. And then the zinger. He says, "We all look the same inside. Except our hearts." "Oh really?" Says I. "Yes," says he "because of sin. I'm talking on a spiritual level." AAAHHHHH!!! Our hearts all look different because of sin in the my mind of my baby. And I bet you that in the eyes of God, who can see the heart in a different light and who judges it's motivations, our hearts all DO look different. When I think of a heart full of sin, I think of black and decay instead o...
1 comment
Read more