Strange post today...More like an entry from my personal journal than a devotional!
This life is so crazy. Last night marks my last night in this house. Which I will miss a little. Mainly bible study time at my kitchen table looking outside. The street I will miss more. We have four sandhill cranes that live somewhere around here. Sometimes they are joined by two others. Of course there is Jack, our cardinal. Last week I even saw a bald eagle just chilling in a field. Not in a tree...grounded. It was amazing. Nature is what I see. Thankfully, nature IS everywhere :)
But that's a tangent not needed other than for my memories!
I sit here today, feeling more hopeful than sad. I started out this year wanting to learn my identity through the Lord. Who am I? Not based on world standards, but who does God say I am? I think I'm progressing there...and now am starting to move on to the next phase: being wholly satisfied in the Lord. It's all over the Bible. I know it's possible, but I can honestly tell you that I have not lived my life up to this point with that satisfaction! I actually think that may be one of the points of this whole thing: to set my focus on God, on the Word, on Jesus, on that awesome Holy Spirit, so that in being fully satisfied in Him, I can actually become this person that God says I can be. That I was created to be.
That has to be the end goal. I feel in my heart that if I am satisfied with God, truly satisfied, the rest will fall into place. What "the rest" is, I have no idea! My life seems to be open to many different paths at the moment. They all, strangely enough, bring me peace. That is because of Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Now for an awkward transition... :)
Mercyme's current song, Even If has struck a chord with my heart since the first time I heard it:
"I know you're able and I know you can save through the fire with your mighty hand. But even if you don't, my hope is You alone. I know the sorrow and I know the hurt would all go away if You'd just say the word. But even if you don't, my hope is You alone."
That's the crux of it. I trust that God is who He says He is. I trust that his mercies are new each morning and that he is constantly transforming me into a picture that more closely resembles his Son. I trust that he could take all of this away and start anew. But even if...even if He doesn't - it's okay.
It's okay because I'm growing. The hard thing, and the thing I need prayers for is that I would grow in front of other people. I can write. I can't speak very well! So this satisfaction in the Lord is evident to me when I reflect and spend quiet time with Him...but I don't want it to be clear just "on paper" if you will. I want to be able to speak it. I want to have words. I want a visible (or audible!) change to be seen when I interact with people.
Can you pray those things for me?
I would so appreciate that...from the bottom of my heart!
This life is so crazy. Last night marks my last night in this house. Which I will miss a little. Mainly bible study time at my kitchen table looking outside. The street I will miss more. We have four sandhill cranes that live somewhere around here. Sometimes they are joined by two others. Of course there is Jack, our cardinal. Last week I even saw a bald eagle just chilling in a field. Not in a tree...grounded. It was amazing. Nature is what I see. Thankfully, nature IS everywhere :)
But that's a tangent not needed other than for my memories!
I sit here today, feeling more hopeful than sad. I started out this year wanting to learn my identity through the Lord. Who am I? Not based on world standards, but who does God say I am? I think I'm progressing there...and now am starting to move on to the next phase: being wholly satisfied in the Lord. It's all over the Bible. I know it's possible, but I can honestly tell you that I have not lived my life up to this point with that satisfaction! I actually think that may be one of the points of this whole thing: to set my focus on God, on the Word, on Jesus, on that awesome Holy Spirit, so that in being fully satisfied in Him, I can actually become this person that God says I can be. That I was created to be.
That has to be the end goal. I feel in my heart that if I am satisfied with God, truly satisfied, the rest will fall into place. What "the rest" is, I have no idea! My life seems to be open to many different paths at the moment. They all, strangely enough, bring me peace. That is because of Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Now for an awkward transition... :)
Mercyme's current song, Even If has struck a chord with my heart since the first time I heard it:
"I know you're able and I know you can save through the fire with your mighty hand. But even if you don't, my hope is You alone. I know the sorrow and I know the hurt would all go away if You'd just say the word. But even if you don't, my hope is You alone."
That's the crux of it. I trust that God is who He says He is. I trust that his mercies are new each morning and that he is constantly transforming me into a picture that more closely resembles his Son. I trust that he could take all of this away and start anew. But even if...even if He doesn't - it's okay.
It's okay because I'm growing. The hard thing, and the thing I need prayers for is that I would grow in front of other people. I can write. I can't speak very well! So this satisfaction in the Lord is evident to me when I reflect and spend quiet time with Him...but I don't want it to be clear just "on paper" if you will. I want to be able to speak it. I want to have words. I want a visible (or audible!) change to be seen when I interact with people.
Can you pray those things for me?
I would so appreciate that...from the bottom of my heart!
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